T Creations

This whole single parenting thing is starting to catch up with me. The house is harder to keep up with and the girls haven’t been much help in the cleaning department. For that, I take full responsibility. I haven’t been able to figure out how to make them clean up after themselves.  They are like little tornados, leaving mass paths of destruction in their wakes. By the time I finally get them to bed, my house looks like a war-zone and I don’t have the energy that it’s takes to put everything back in it’s place. Today, I implemented something new that will help ease the burden… I hope!

For the past several years, I’ve given the girls allowance. Each week, they get as many dollars as they are old. This may seem like a lot at first, however, after they give 10% to tithe and put 40% in savings, they really aren’t left with much. Before allowance, they’d beg for everything at the store. Didn’t matter what it was, a doll, a candy bar, a new pair of shoes, they wanted it all. After I started paying them their own allowance, life as far as begging for things at the store, was beautiful. Every time they mentioned that they wanted something, I’d say, “save your money”. It didn’t take long for them to realize that they didn’t want 1/2 the stuff that they thought they did if they were going to have to pay for it with “their” money. Allowance was grand. They were learning about the value of a dollar, saving for what they wanted, and giving to charity. My plan was to increase their allowance as they got older, not just by a dollar per year, but when they started costing me more money, since it was going to come out of my pocket anyway, I’d give it to them as “allowance”. When it comes time to buy school clothes, I think they will be more frugal and discerning if they are spending their “own” money. It puts things in perspective.

The allowance thing continues to work great as far as personal spending and savings and begging for stuff at the store. I’ve loved it. However, until now I haven’t been able to tie it to their behavior at home or their helpfulness (or lack of in this case) around the house.

A couple weeks ago, Hunter came up with the idea of Mommy Bucks. I’d actually done this for them when they were little. They used to earn “mommy money” for good deeds that they could spend on fun things at the “mommy store” including hair bows and bubbles… I’m not sure exactly how we came up with the final plan. Hunter and I both threw out lots of ideas and it just kind of took on a life of its own and evolved into the following…

Since I only have the kids every other week (kind of… I still get them every day until 6 on his week) I’m only going to pay them on the weeks that are “mine”. But this is the plan that we’ve put in motion. Monday I give the girls the equivelent of their allowance in mommy money. 4 Mommy Bucks = $1.00. Therefore, Mercedez gets 36 Mommy Bucks, Hunter 28MBs, and Boston 24MBs. Over the course of the week (or in my case 2 weeks) their behavior is directly tied to their Mommy Bucks. If they hit their sister, don’t pick up their stuff, or backtalk, I have the right to take away Mommy Bucks. If they’ve lost any of their MBs throughout the week, they have the opportunity to earn them back via a job or a random act genuine good behavior. However, they cannot earn more MBs than what they started with. (They’d break me…) Two weeks later, the Mommy Bank opens and they can cash in their Mommy Bucks for really “earned” allowance. I think this is going to be a great thing because nothing speaks louder than money at our house!

Mercedez's Mommy Bucks

Hunters's Mommy Bucks

Boston's Mommy Bucks

(Hunter and I also decided that each person should have their picture on their MBs so they couldn’t acquire each other’s money… No stealing or trading. They can only cash in MBs with their picture on it… Love it!)

The last two weeks have been pretty good. There’s been a little trial and error to it, of course. Today when I opened the Mommy Bank, Boston and Hunter cashed their MBs for just a little over half of their normal allowance. Not much, especially when you consider that they really only get half of it by the time they pay tithing and savings. Mercedez had lost a few MBs however, she earned most of them back by requesting jobs from me… All in all, I’m thinking this is a great idea…

Well, if that wasn’t great enough, I’ve still been swamped with house work and picking up after everyone goes to bed. The girls are definitely old enough that they should be at least cleaning up after themselves. I was complaining about this to my cousin, so I give kudos to her for this next bit as it was inspired by her [Thanks Lor!!]. She said that she wrote a bunch of jobs down on popsicle sicks. Then the kids draw them out of a jar and are responsible for completing the task on their stick, sans whining or trading. I loved it!! The jobs are small as to not overwhelm and they get to “choose” them, even though they don’t know what they are going to get. Mom isn’t the bad guy…

Job Jars & Tokens

I had some wooden hearts from a long abandoned project and commenced to write a few jobs on them: gather dirty clothes, dust upstairs, unload dishwasher, vacuum downstairs, sweep kitchen and dining room, etc. I figured that each job would take 5-15 minutes. I put them in a 1/2 pint jar labeled “To Do”. When the girls got home from school, I explained that I wanted them each to do two jobs. They were all excited to choose from the jar to find out what they’d be doing. Mercedez’s jobs were to gather the dirty clothes and vacuum the downstairs. Hunter’s were to clean the 1/2 bath and dust upstairs. Boston’s were to unload the dishwasher and dust the downstairs. They were all delighted in what they’d chosen. I explained to Mercedez exactly what vacuuming the downstairs entailed; all the rugs and my bedroom, and when she was finished she needed to wrap the cord up and put the vacuum away. I spent quite a bit of time with Hunter in the bathroom showing her how to scrub and supervising her work. I think next time she’ll need very little help or supervision. She also loved dusting. Boston is the best dishwasher unloader and knows it. She did a great job with all the dishes and the silverware were diligently sorted. She loved dusting as well.

I told them that when they were finished with their jobs to come get me so I could inspect their work and then upon approval, they could deposit their job token in the “Done” jar. I decided that I would also tie their jobs to their allowance. So after I’d cashed out their MBs today. I divvied out their “new” Mommy Bucks for the next couple weeks. I reserved 10 MB’s from each girl and put it in a purple envelope labeled “Job Allowance”. When they deposit their job tokens in the “Done” jar, they receive a MB. Still working out the bugs here as far as getting them done by a certain time to ensure an MB for a job complete, etc. However, if the job is not done for the day, they don’t get the MB and they cannot earn these “back”. It’s a earn it or lose it deal for the purple envelope…

Anyhow, today was very successful. I’d cleaned the house all weekend while the girls were with their dad, so we had a nice blank slate to start out with. The girls were happy and helpful. After we ate dinner, one of the girls went to use the 1/2 bathroom. I heard Hunter yell, “Don’t poop in there, I just scrubbed it!” Awe!!! Welcome to my world. That was the best!

I know that this isn’t the cure all for poor behavior or the perfect ends to a clean house, but I feel like it’s a good start. I also know that it’s going to take discipline and diligence on my part to keep it alive. All I can do is take it one day at a time… Monday – check!! Bring on tomorrow!!

If anyone has suggestions, I’m open to new ideas. I think I’ve got a pretty good foundation to build upon here, and would welcome any feedback. Wish me luck!! I feel a change in the air and I like it!