T Creations

So, an amendment for the job jar. Thought of this last night as I was inspired by both Mercedez and Boston. Mercedez didn’t want to unload the dishwasher and said that it was “worth a quarter to not have to do it”… She is way too smart for her own good. Boston didn’t want to pick up the family room (we’re talking 10-12 things that needed to be put away, really tough stuff here). So I decided that I needed more incentive to get them to own the jobs that they draw from the jar…

Here’s what I’ve come up with: I am going to give the girls a time limit in which their job(s) needs to be completed. I’m thinking an hour for 2 jobs (they should easily be able to get them done in half that time). That’s plenty of time with a few spare minutes to complain and dawdle. If they finish within the allotted time, then they get their job allowance for the day. If they don’t finish within the time limit, then they forfeit their money for the day. But wait, there’s more… They still have to do their job(s), even if they don’t finish before the time’s up… If they still haven’t completed their job(s) by dinner time, then they have to give me a Mommy Buck for every job that they haven’t completed. I love it. We’ll see where it goes from here…

Thoughts?

This whole single parenting thing is starting to catch up with me. The house is harder to keep up with and the girls haven’t been much help in the cleaning department. For that, I take full responsibility. I haven’t been able to figure out how to make them clean up after themselves.  They are like little tornados, leaving mass paths of destruction in their wakes. By the time I finally get them to bed, my house looks like a war-zone and I don’t have the energy that it’s takes to put everything back in it’s place. Today, I implemented something new that will help ease the burden… I hope!

For the past several years, I’ve given the girls allowance. Each week, they get as many dollars as they are old. This may seem like a lot at first, however, after they give 10% to tithe and put 40% in savings, they really aren’t left with much. Before allowance, they’d beg for everything at the store. Didn’t matter what it was, a doll, a candy bar, a new pair of shoes, they wanted it all. After I started paying them their own allowance, life as far as begging for things at the store, was beautiful. Every time they mentioned that they wanted something, I’d say, “save your money”. It didn’t take long for them to realize that they didn’t want 1/2 the stuff that they thought they did if they were going to have to pay for it with “their” money. Allowance was grand. They were learning about the value of a dollar, saving for what they wanted, and giving to charity. My plan was to increase their allowance as they got older, not just by a dollar per year, but when they started costing me more money, since it was going to come out of my pocket anyway, I’d give it to them as “allowance”. When it comes time to buy school clothes, I think they will be more frugal and discerning if they are spending their “own” money. It puts things in perspective.

The allowance thing continues to work great as far as personal spending and savings and begging for stuff at the store. I’ve loved it. However, until now I haven’t been able to tie it to their behavior at home or their helpfulness (or lack of in this case) around the house.

A couple weeks ago, Hunter came up with the idea of Mommy Bucks. I’d actually done this for them when they were little. They used to earn “mommy money” for good deeds that they could spend on fun things at the “mommy store” including hair bows and bubbles… I’m not sure exactly how we came up with the final plan. Hunter and I both threw out lots of ideas and it just kind of took on a life of its own and evolved into the following…

Since I only have the kids every other week (kind of… I still get them every day until 6 on his week) I’m only going to pay them on the weeks that are “mine”. But this is the plan that we’ve put in motion. Monday I give the girls the equivelent of their allowance in mommy money. 4 Mommy Bucks = $1.00. Therefore, Mercedez gets 36 Mommy Bucks, Hunter 28MBs, and Boston 24MBs. Over the course of the week (or in my case 2 weeks) their behavior is directly tied to their Mommy Bucks. If they hit their sister, don’t pick up their stuff, or backtalk, I have the right to take away Mommy Bucks. If they’ve lost any of their MBs throughout the week, they have the opportunity to earn them back via a job or a random act genuine good behavior. However, they cannot earn more MBs than what they started with. (They’d break me…) Two weeks later, the Mommy Bank opens and they can cash in their Mommy Bucks for really “earned” allowance. I think this is going to be a great thing because nothing speaks louder than money at our house!

(Hunter and I also decided that each person should have their picture on their MBs so they couldn’t acquire each other’s money… No stealing or trading. They can only cash in MBs with their picture on it… Love it!)

The last two weeks have been pretty good. There’s been a little trial and error to it, of course. Today when I opened the Mommy Bank, Boston and Hunter cashed their MBs for just a little over half of their normal allowance. Not much, especially when you consider that they really only get half of it by the time they pay tithing and savings. Mercedez had lost a few MBs however, she earned most of them back by requesting jobs from me… All in all, I’m thinking this is a great idea…

Well, if that wasn’t great enough, I’ve still been swamped with house work and picking up after everyone goes to bed. The girls are definitely old enough that they should be at least cleaning up after themselves. I was complaining about this to my cousin, so I give kudos to her for this next bit as it was inspired by her [Thanks Lor!!]. She said that she wrote a bunch of jobs down on popsicle sicks. Then the kids draw them out of a jar and are responsible for completing the task on their stick, sans whining or trading. I loved it!! The jobs are small as to not overwhelm and they get to “choose” them, even though they don’t know what they are going to get. Mom isn’t the bad guy…

I had some wooden hearts from a long abandoned project and commenced to write a few jobs on them: gather dirty clothes, dust upstairs, unload dishwasher, vacuum downstairs, sweep kitchen and dining room, etc. I figured that each job would take 5-15 minutes. I put them in a 1/2 pint jar labeled “To Do”. When the girls got home from school, I explained that I wanted them each to do two jobs. They were all excited to choose from the jar to find out what they’d be doing. Mercedez’s jobs were to gather the dirty clothes and vacuum the downstairs. Hunter’s were to clean the 1/2 bath and dust upstairs. Boston’s were to unload the dishwasher and dust the downstairs. They were all delighted in what they’d chosen. I explained to Mercedez exactly what vacuuming the downstairs entailed; all the rugs and my bedroom, and when she was finished she needed to wrap the cord up and put the vacuum away. I spent quite a bit of time with Hunter in the bathroom showing her how to scrub and supervising her work. I think next time she’ll need very little help or supervision. She also loved dusting. Boston is the best dishwasher unloader and knows it. She did a great job with all the dishes and the silverware were diligently sorted. She loved dusting as well.

I told them that when they were finished with their jobs to come get me so I could inspect their work and then upon approval, they could deposit their job token in the “Done” jar. I decided that I would also tie their jobs to their allowance. So after I’d cashed out their MBs today. I divvied out their “new” Mommy Bucks for the next couple weeks. I reserved 10 MB’s from each girl and put it in a purple envelope labeled “Job Allowance”. When they deposit their job tokens in the “Done” jar, they receive a MB. Still working out the bugs here as far as getting them done by a certain time to ensure an MB for a job complete, etc. However, if the job is not done for the day, they don’t get the MB and they cannot earn these “back”. It’s a earn it or lose it deal for the purple envelope…

Anyhow, today was very successful. I’d cleaned the house all weekend while the girls were with their dad, so we had a nice blank slate to start out with. The girls were happy and helpful. After we ate dinner, one of the girls went to use the 1/2 bathroom. I heard Hunter yell, “Don’t poop in there, I just scrubbed it!” Awe!!! Welcome to my world. That was the best!

I know that this isn’t the cure all for poor behavior or the perfect ends to a clean house, but I feel like it’s a good start. I also know that it’s going to take discipline and diligence on my part to keep it alive. All I can do is take it one day at a time… Monday – check!! Bring on tomorrow!!

If anyone has suggestions, I’m open to new ideas. I think I’ve got a pretty good foundation to build upon here, and would welcome any feedback. Wish me luck!! I feel a change in the air and I like it!

So on the eve on Valentine’s Day I received a text around 5:45pm from a number that I didn’t recognize. The conversation goes as follows:

Anonymous: Happy Valentines Day

Me: Thx. Who is this?

Anonymous: The man of your dreams

Me: What do you know about my dreams?

Anonymous: More than you think
You want a rugged man, who can make you happy
A man who will like you for you

Me: Hugh Jackman?!! Is that really you?!

Anonymous: Could be… But I said dreams, not fantasy

Me: LOL. Touche’

Anonymous: I’m sure you know who this is…
If not I win a date

Me: Hmmm, If I do, what do I win?

Anonymous: If you win I will pay for the date

(At this point, I think I know who it is, but need to do a little investigating.)

Me: Haha. Well, if we are playing a game, I need 3 clues.

Anonymous: 3 questions

Me: 1) Where did we meet?

Anonymous: Who said we met..?

Me: Rephrasing 1) have we met; if so where?

Anonymous: Yes. At a friend’s house a while ago

Me: 2) Was I nice to you?

Anonymous: You were nice but not interested in talking much

Me: 3) How old r u?

Anonymous: Different question

Me: Ok, 3) how old where you last yr?

Anonymous: 25 to 35

(I still think that I’ve got a pretty good idea who this is, but just want to seal the deal.)

Me: Not good enough. 3) who’s the friend of the house where we met?

Anonymous: No more clues.
I win
So what’s your favorite place to eat?

Me: 1- Sushi Eye, 2- Arriba

Anonymous: ???
Love sushi
What day?
Tomorrow or Wed.?

(I was busy so there a was delay in my reply.)

Anonymous: I’ll take that as a yes. Tomorrow at 7:30, just send me your address and you will see who it is.

(At this point I started to 2nd guess myself… What if it wasn’t who I thought it was…)

Me: Wait. I don’t know how I feel about a blind date

Anonymous: No risks? No reward
Besides it’s not a blind date. We’ve met

Me: Not sure if I’m free tomorrow. Let me get back to you on that

Monday Morning…

Anonymous: Morning
You figured out tonight?
I need an answer to set a time

Me: Can’t tonight. So sorry

Anonymous: Well, I’m going to need a counter offer… Wed. or Fri?

(Buying time and still 2nd guessing)

Me: I’m  not sure I’m ready to jump back in the dating scene.
Are we friends?
Can we hand out as “friends” and not call it a date?

Anonymous: Yes, I’d like to think of us as friends. Well, let’s hang out as friends to a movie and cuddling
Cuddling is innocent… Friends do it all the time

Me: Perhaps Wednesday night then

Anonymous: Perfect. Wednesday you can either come to my place or I can bring over a movie. You against necking???

(Busy again, therefore, long delay in reply from me.)

Anonymous: Ok no necking?
??

(In the unlikely event that I was wrong, and this really wasn’t the person that I thought it was, I felt the need to set some boundaries at this point.)

Me: No kissing, necking, or petting. Possible snuggling. I can come to you… Free to leave after 7…

Anonymous: We’ll see about no kissing… But I won’t call it a date. Still no idea who this is??

(More clues to confirm my suspicions wouldn’t hurt.)

Me: Nope. Wanna give me another clue?

Anonymous: I have 5 fingers on each hand, 5 toes on each foot, 2 eyes, and a nose. Brown hair.
More clues??
I have a devilish smile, mesmerizing stare, and if we kiss, you’ll be coming back for more

Me: Hmmm…

Anonymous: So why aren’t you dating? You just end a serious relationship? Or are you all about being single..?
I guess that’s a personal question
How was Valentines Day for you?

Me: Valentines Day was good. Lots better than last yr. As for dating; I have no intentions of settling down or getting serious, and “playing” just leads to trouble.

Anonymous: Anything romantic this year?
I had a Valentines date, with my friend. It wasn’t bad

(Funny, I thought. Cause I know what he did and who his “date” was with.)

Me: That’s cool. Glad it was a good day. “Romantic”?? Hmmm. That’s kind of relative…

Anonymous: What’s romantic for you?

Me: Love dovey, mushy gushy, girlfriend boyfriend stuff… What is romantic for you?

Anonymous: Hot chocolate next to a fire and slow kissing

(At this point, I’m just returning home from and errand to find…)

Me: Rose petals in the bedroom, an envelope sealed with a wax stamp containing a letter with a secret message, and a rose on the bed

Anonymous: Not bad, I still like mine better

Me: To each their own… But yours is good

Anonymous: Plus mine is cheaper

Me: True. But mine takes some preparation

Anonymous: To each his own
When we hangout, what genre of movie will you prefer? Horror ok?

Me: I like scary…

Tuesday Morning …

Anonymous: Good morning

Me: How’s work? Lots to catch up on from your “3 day” weekend?

Anonymous: I needed a vacation from classes, Tues and Thurs are all day…

(Ha ha, I thought. He’s trying to throw me off his trail. But I’ll play along…)

Me: Film school? Dentistry?

Anonymous: Huh??

Me: What r u studying?

Anonymous: Hmmm, I’m pretty sure I told you before, which would be a dead give away.

Me: Hmmm. I guess you’ll have to refresh my memory when we meet (again). Have you decided on a movie?

Anonymous: We’re watching “Jeepers Creepers”. I have the hot chocolate too.

Me: Don’t know anything about it… Do you also have a fireplace?

Anonymous: Please, you can’t have hot chocolate without a fireplace. I’m pretty sure it states that on the back of the package…
Jeepers Creepers was a classic horror movie for cuddling… Apparently you have never cuddled to the right movie
Where would I be if ASU didn’t have Einstein Bagels here on campus… You didn’t go to ASU did you?

(Another attempt to throw me off… followed by another long busy pause in the conversation on my end.)

Anonymous: Don’t talk much do you?

Me: You’re a funny guy. The movie sounds good. I’ll try not to scream. I do like to cuddle durn movies, especially scary ones. I didn’t go to ASU, but I do love EB. As for not being much of a talker; I have a sick addiction to my phone that I’m trying not to satisfy… What r u up to today?

Anonymous: Sick addiction? That’s funny. I’m doing labs all night. Midterms coming up. Want to be ready! What are you up to today? Working I’m guessing.

Me: Yes working. All day, everyday but I have the weekend off. So excited. So labs tonight… What r u doing today?

Anonymous: Just got out of class, dinner for an hour and a half an then lab til 10…

(Class? Lab? Either he’s really sticking to his guns or I’ve got the wrong guy… No, I’m gonna follow my intuition on this…)

Anonymous: Working late…? Any plans tonight?

Me: Tonight’s plan includes reclaiming my house from the weekend mayhem

Anonymous: Party?

Me: You could say that

Anonymous: Fun, any ideas about who this is yet??

Me: Yep

(Feeling very clever and confident.)

Anonymous: Hmmm… Now I’m interested to know if you know…
Without saying much, what makes you think you know who this is…?

Me: Glad to have piqued your curiousity     I’m a GREAT detective; would have made an excellent spy; or did I?

Anonymous: Well, what clued did you find?

Me: I can’t revel my sources…

Anonymous: How sure are you about me??

Me: 97.2%

(I was pretty sure, but not 100%.)

Anonymous: I don’t think you do know… I might need your “source”.

Me: Please refer to the previous text about sources…

Anonymous: Ha ha!! I knew you didn’t know

Me: I know that you LOVE ice cream

Anonymous: Hmmm, everyone loves ice cream, but that doesn’t tell me anything

Me: You have beautiful eyes that (most) people notice 1st thing

Anonymous: Um, not me, but thanks

Me: Ha ha. We’ll see!

Anonymous: I’ve thrown out hits, just wondering which ones you picked up on…

(Really? You call those hints? I’m sticking with my intuition…)
(Ok, ok… I admit… I cheated…  I blocked my caller ID then called his number to see if he’d pick up and reveal himself. But it rang through to voice mail, which I figured would be equally helpful. There was a pre-recorded message stating that “the subscriber that dialed”… something, something… “error message” something… I didn’t listen too closely because that confirmed my guess. I called back again to make sure I heard it right. Yep. And a 3rd time just for good measure. This time there was another pre-recorded message. Different message, different voice. I assumed that he was on to me and changed his message… Anyhow, I was still confident.)

Me: The brown hair gave it  away, but I have a friend that used to work for the CIA that confirmed it for me.

Anonymous: Brown hair, huh? You’re good… CIA? I don’t believe you.

Me: Believe it or not, I’m good!!

Anonymous: WE’ll see… I’ll call you tomorrow with my address. Lab is about to start

Me: Sounds good. Have fun in lab…

Anonymous: Always do. Have fun tonight

Me: Of course!

(A while later… I’ve decided to go sit in the hot tub and am relaxing with my phone and a good book.)

Anonymous: How’s reclaiming the house going??

Me: Taking a break. How’s lab going??

Anonymous: 15 min break…
I’m surviving tho
So, need a hand with reclaiming your place?

Me: It’s always faster with another pair of hand, but I got it covered, thx.

Anonymous: Well too bad, I’m leaving the lab and on my way… You wouldn’t kick me out

Me: 1) How do u know where I live? 2) I’m not there. 3) What make you think I would let you in?

Anonymous: 1) I’m a better detective. 2) You don’t have to be there. 3) I do’n tcare if you wan tme in or not, I’ll just have to force my way in…

Me: 4) If you manage to get in while I’m out, I’ll be really mad. May cancel our “date” tomorrow.

Anonymous: 4) I really doubt you would cancel this date

Me: Well, if you get there before I do, do the dishes for me, would you?!

(30 minutes later…)

Anonymous: Dishes are finished

Me: Thx. My floors could use a good sweeping…

Anonymous: Give some, take some… What do I get??

Me: There r frozen burritos in the freezer…

Anonymous: Perfect, I’m starving!!

Me: I think there is cheese and salsa in the fridge

Anonymous: Sour cream??

Me: Don’t think so

Anonymous:

Me: Beggars can’t be choosers

Anonymous: When can I expect you home?

Me: In a while. Maybe by the time the house is clean…

Anonymous: Ha ha, well, I’m fast, so you best be on your way…
Sigh…

Me: Hmmm? Full?

Anonymous: no

Me: How’s the sweeping coming?

Anonymous: Just finished

Me: Awesome. I’m on my way home. Why don’t you put your feet up

Anonymous: You going to rub my feet?

Me: I’m gonna shower, then finish what you started
With the house work, I mean

Anonymous: Naughty

Me: Oops

Anonymous: Wait til tomorrow

Me: No naughty…

Anonymous: I meant wait to finish the house tomorrow, silly

Me: Oh, ha ha! Again, oops. Can’t wait… it’s out of cotrol.

(At this point I’m walking back from the hot tub and turn the corner to see my house. No car in the drive, no lights in the house. I didn’t really expect him to be there, and hoped he wasn’t because I’d left my house a huge mess to go sit in the hot tub. But I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been there doing my dishes and sweeping my floors…)

Me: Where’d you go? My house is dark

Anonymous: I’m still in lab, silly

Me: Bummer, I was really looking forward to coming home to a clean kitchen. Hmph

Anonymous: Well, I wouldn’t want to steal your thunder…

(Thank goodness!)

Me: Thanks! Glad you didn’t spoil the surprise tonight

Anonymous: Spoil the fun? I’m still confused if you really know who this is… It’s been a while… I wouldn’t have figured it out

Me: Well, maybe I’ll be the one that is surprised tomorrow… We’ll see

Anonymous: Are you really cleaning??
Got out of the lab early

Me: Getting ready to shower, then yes

Anonymous: Late shower…
Smell that bad??

(Another long pause… my mom called…)

Me: My mom called… Just getting in now

Anonymous: Mom?

Me: ??

Anonymous: Who am I talking to?

(Just after I get in the shower, my doorbell rings… Tobie barks… I hop out and pull on my bathrobe. The guy at the door is the guy I’ve been texting. I’m not really surprised to see him, after all I thought that he might have been here earlier, though it turned out that he had only been kidding; I’m not sure how I feel about him being here…  My house is a mess. I’m not looking my best. It’s late. We’d spent a lot of time together the last couple days, and we had a date scheduled for the following night. I’m not exactly my bright and chipper self… I invite him in, mention something about my floors still needing swept [to which he gave me a blank stare], tell him that I’m mid-shower, and he says, “Go finish, I’ll clean up.” I insist that he just sit and turn on the tv. I’m mortified that my house is such a wreck. Not that he hasn’t seen it worse, just that I didn’t really have an excuse for it to still be a mess. After a short war of words and a few empty threats, I head back to the shower and receive the following text:)

Anonymous: You alright???

Me: Yeah. Talk to you tomorrow

(This is crazy… I’m still pretty sure, but not really…)

Anonymous: … I think I might have the wrong number…

(Ha ha ha!!! I’m thinking that I’d just hurt his feelings by the way I’d received him at the door and that now he was going to reconsider this whole plan and cancel our date for the next night…)

Me: Wouldn’t that be funny!
Maybe you’re not who I thought you were. Bummer!

Anonymous: Good night

Wednesday [Today]

I didn’t hear from Mr. Anonymous all day today until 6:20pm… My phone rang and his nameless number popped up. Ryan was picking up the kids so I couldn’t answer… No message. A few minutes later I replied by text:

Me: Sorry I missed you. What’s up?

It wasn’t long after that my phone rang again with the same nameless number…

Anonymous: Hi this is Chad…

Me: (laughing) Hi Chad

Chad: So, I thought I was texting my ex, turns out I got the wrong number. I feel really bad about the whole thing. I figured that I’d better call and make sure that you were ok.

Me: (still chuckling) Well, it won’t be the first time I’ve been stood up…  (I was joking; not about being stood up, but teasing him for standing me this time)

Chad: I’m so sorry. I feel like such an [** idiot/jerk**]

Me: No worries. This is all really funny and now makes a lot of sense. I’m just kidding about you standing me up, bytheway… It’s all good.

Chad: Well, I do feel bad about it.

Me: Well don’t. I have been thoroughly entertained!! Have a great night!

Chad: You too.

(Thought I send a follow-up text. It was nice of him to call. He could have just blown me off and just never texted me back again.)

Me: Chad, thanks for the call. Even tho things didn’t go as planned, I gotta say, that was one of the funniest, most entertaining things that’s happened to me in a while. Good luck with your girl!

Chad: Well, I’m glad my stupidity could be served as humor to another. She an ex, but her BF just broke up with her a week ago, so I thought I’d cheer her up… Mission failed
I had suspicious thought about what you were telling me, but the mom thing was the red flag… her mom passed away last year

Me: That’s too bad. Sorry that you’re plans fell thru. That was really sweet of you. I thought I’d figured out who you were yesterday morning. So many coincidences… Ha ha. Regardless, what are the odds. Too funny!

Chad: Ba ha ha, you thought it was someone that you knew too? That makes me feel a bit better

Me: Funniest story! I’m blogging about it now!! Ha ha. There were several things that didn’t add up, but I thought you/he was just throwing me off his trail. The timing and coincidence were uncanny!

Chad: You’re blogging about this…? I’ve told 2 friends, but you’re telling the world. I texted the right number and the replies are making sense now… She will laugh her butt off when I eventually unfold this story

Me: The world… LOL I only wish I had that big of following. But you gotta admit it’s a great story!! Glad you got the right number!! I’m sure it will brighten her day!

There you have it…! I love real life funnies… You just can’t make stuff like this up!

There are still some things that were too coincidental… uncanny, like I said… what are the odds. Too funny!! But I was really looking forward to a scary movie tonight!! Bummer!

[I didn't write this... Got it from a friend, but I think it's funny (and mostly true) and dedicate to it all the guys out there who need a little help "getting the girl(s)"...]

“The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Women” And What To Do About It…”

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women And How To Make Sure YOU Avoid Every One Of These Deadly Common Mistakes…

MISTAKE #1: Being Too Much of A “Nice” Guy
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted to “nice” guys? Of course you have. Just like me, I’m sure you’ve had attractive female friends that always seemed to date “jerks”… but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What’s going on here? It’s actually very simple… Women don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn’t make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn’t make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn’t make a lot of logical sense, and it’s hard to ACCEPT… but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you’ll NEVER have the success with women that you want.

MISTAKE #2: Trying To “Convince” Her To Like You
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like… but she’s just not interested? Right! They try to “convince” the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you… YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN “FEELS” WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with “logic and reasoning”. Think about it. If a woman doesn’t “feel it” for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being “reasonable” with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn’t interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.

MISTAKE #3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman’s “approval” or “permission”. Another HORRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them… EVER. Don’t get me wrong here. You don’t have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means “always getting her approval and permission for things”, think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her…

MISTAKE #4: Trying To “Buy” Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn’t treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you’re like me, then you’ve had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It’s only NATURAL when this happens… That’s right, I said NATURAL. When you do these things, you send a clear message: “I don’t think you’ll like me for who I am, so I’m going to try to buy your attention and affection”. Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That’s right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.

MISTAKE #5: Sharing “How You Feel” Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they “feel” too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don’t realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME by men. An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month. And guess what? Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That’s right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying “You know, I really, REALLY like you” after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you’re just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast… and can’t control themselves. Don’t do it. Lean back. Relax. There’s a much better way…

MISTAKE #6: Not “Getting” How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful woman he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their “attraction mechanisms” triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men… and they’re more attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a beautiful young woman. But it’s not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how…

MISTAKE #7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they’ve even gotten started… because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money… or guys who are a certain height… or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things. But MOST women are far more interested in a man’s personality than his wallet or his looks. There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet… And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to “settle” for a woman just because you aren’t rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.

MISTAKE #8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it’s a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea… Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over… Women aren’t attracted to Wussies!

MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I’m going to blow your mind… A woman ALWAYS knows what you’re thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That’s ten TIMES. I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you’re out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it. And if you don’t know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won’t help! And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating… Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical… everything. If you don’t know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up… and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it. It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman… from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.

MISTAKE #10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want. I know, guys don’t like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don’t like to ask for help. [This is where the author tries to sell you his book... if you must know, go to Double Your Dates dot com.]

2009 has been an exciting and challenging year for most people, but for us, especially, it has been a whirlwind of change. At this time last year I was recovering from a double mastectomy and flat as a pancake. In January I began reconstructive surgery and finally finished my last procedure in November (tattoo touch-ups to follow in a couple weeks). Not once have I regretted my decision and the peace of mind that it has brought me has been a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders.

This year, I’ve also experienced a relationship status change, moved to a new house, new ward, and new stake, and the girls attended a new school this fall. I’ve met new people and made new friends. All this newness has left me a little discombobulated. I do miss my old friends and my old ward and hope to renew some of those old ties in the New Year. Amid all the change, I’ve managed to find some stability and strength in my family. They have been an incredible support and I love them more than I can express in type. My girls have also been a source of joy and constant entertainment. They are so fun and I love every minute (except the ones that I’d like to string them up by their toes, but thankfully they are fleeting).

Though all this change has been challenging and chaotic, it hasn’t been all bad. I love my new life. I love that my stress is my own and things in general feel simpler and more manageable. I’ve loved the time that I’ve spent alone in quiet reflection and “me time”. And I’ve loved the quality time that I’ve spent with the girls.

All things, good and bad, must come to and end. 2010 is a new chapter and I’m ready! No doubt the New Year will continue to bring change and growth, but I believe it will also bring strength and stability. Cheers to 2010!

~Teresa Sharp  11/98

The leaves are falling and littering the ground
With colors of yellow and orange and brown.
The weather is cooler and the crisp air is chill,
And there’s a bit of frost in each windowsill.

The season has changed. It’s a new time of year;
A season of giving; A time of good cheer.
Family and friends seem to be on your mind,
And everyone everywhere is considerably kind.

The table is set with all the best dishes.
The turkey is golden and smells delicious.
The rolls are warm. The stuffing is steamy.
The salad is fresh and the potatoes are creamy.

When you finally finish the last bite of pie,
You loosen your belt and let out a sigh.
Now that dinner is over you can’t say a word
‘Cause you’re just as stuffed as the turkey bird.

~ Teresa Sharp   1996

Girls hate when guys say that they’ll call and then don’t.
You promise you will, but we know that you won’t.
You say, “Let’s get together and do something sometime.”
But we know that you tell every girl that same line.

You ask for our numbers, but then never call.
We then wonder why we ever told you at all.
You build up our hopes and make us start dreaming.
But deep down inside, we know you’re just scheming.

You think that you’re charming, with slyness and guile
When you tell us we’re pretty and have a great smile.
And you think that we’ll fall for you and get week in the knees
Just ‘cuz you’re handsome and say, “Pretty please.”

And we do, every time. You’d think we would learn.
Someday we’ll have wisdom and the power to discern.
We’ll discover your plots and uncover your schemes.
We’ll tell you, “No way!” or, “You wish!” “In your dreams!.”

But until then, we’ll be sincere and naive.
When you say that you’ll call us, we’ll trust and believe;
‘Cuz I hate to admit it, but it really is true,
That without guys around, we’d have nothing to do.

So yesterday I avoided scrubbing bathrooms in favor of scrubbing floors. As you know in order to scrub the floor, you have to first be able to see it. Hence, I picked up toys and and dirty clothes, stuffed animals and scraps of paper including dozens punched circles (Boston’s favorite new craft). I did a quick once over with the broom which actually took about 30 minutes. My entire main floor is tile and Pergo except for my bedroom, which I really like. I think it’s fairly easy to maintain and feels cleaner than wall to wall carpet, especially with kids spilling and tracking everything in and out.

I’m going to plug the Hoover Floormate because if you don’t have one, you don’t know what you’re missing. This baby mops for you! It’s as easy as vacuuming and I think it does as good of job as I can do on my hands and knees, and it does it in a fraction of the time. As if that wasn’t great enough, the wet pickup function works so well that you have virtually no drying time! I wouldn’t kid about something like this. It’s one of my must have cleaning tools. After having one, I really, seriously can’t live without it. (Well I could, but would refuse to scrub floors on my hands and knees, and despise traditional mops. I think they just redistribute dirt; gross!)

So in a few hours, my house smelled better, and I could run around barefoot again and like it. I went to bed last night feeling only slightly guilty that I hadn’t accomplished cleaning the bathrooms, yet again.

This morning was typical. The girls got up for school and commenced to dress and eat. Before breakfast was over we had a bowl of cereal spill on the floor, a 1/4 gallon of milk dumped out on the table, which then of corse splattered all over the rest of the tiles in the dining room that had previously managed to escape the cereal, and a plugged up toilet. I decided to go ahead and hurry and clean up the floor old school, hands and knees style. I’d deal with the toilet when I got back. We quickly finished getting ready for school and I dropped them off just as the first bell was ringing.

When I got home the toilet had drained itself and I, hoping it had also unplugged itself, flushed it. To my dismay, it was still clogged. If that wasn’t enough, the chain came loose and stuck under the flapper, which means the water did not stop when I expected it to. In a panic, I yanked the lid off. While trying to grab a near by towel with my foot and avoid getting spilled and splashed on, I managed to lift up the float, fish out the chain and smash down the flapper. It was only a mere matter of seconds, but it was long enough for the toilet to overflow, flood my bathroom, and start trailing out the door. The towel I’d managed to slide across the floor was soaked and though it managed to contain most of the water from flooding into the rest of the house, it was starting to loose the battle of containment. I grabbed another towel from the laundry room and sopped up the hallway. Once everything was under control I washed my hands and took a deep breath.

I needed a plunger. I scooped up Willow and we ran to the closest store and bought the cheapest plunger, which still cost me $6.99. From there, things were pretty routine. I unplugged the toilet, finished sopping up the water, and threw the towels directly in the washing machine. Then I scrubbed the floor again.

It was at this point in time that I wondered, “Why do I even bother?” On the bright side, I hadn’t already scrubbed my toilets yet! But I couldn’t no longer procrastinate the inevitable. Three toilets later I felt better, if not a little triumphant. My floors were clean yet again and my bathrooms smelled like… well, whatever fresh, sparkling, clean smells like. Maybe it’ll last a whole week?! A couple days? At least until the kids get home from school…

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Once again, Natalie captured the girls different personalities. The girls were feeling particularly modeseque this day, hence their coy smiles.

Photos by Natalie